2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of ‘need’ is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you ‘just don’t understand’.

4. Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don’t need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can’t keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don’t view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ‘on/off’ switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you’ll have a pretty good idea about how she’ll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man’s responsibility, ‘It’s there in the Bible’. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. ‘Oil-stick, oil doesn’t stick?’

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don’t try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don’t fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ‘How do I look?’

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.

32. The first naked man women see is ‘Ken’.

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. ‘Oh, nothing,’ has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-
language.

36. Lewis Carroll’s Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don’t agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don’t bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a
conversation by asking, ‘What did you do?’

40. Only women understand the reason for ‘guest towels’ and the ‘good china’.

41. Did I mention that even after a careful and through explaination to the men in their lives, only women will understand the reason for ‘guest towels’ and the ‘good china’?

42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they ‘left the seat up’ instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don’t really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don’t see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It’s okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don’t see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they’ll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don’t hear men say, ‘Oh-my-GOD, there’s another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!’

A telephone operator told that one day she received a phone call. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” There was silence. She repeated, “PUB.” There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just “hello” instead of “PUB”.

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?” The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing, willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out, telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need television.”

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.”

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, “Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered, “You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg – cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? “Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.” The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, ” Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

To My Friends Who Are…MARRIED 

Love is not about “it’s your fault”, but “I’m sorry”, not “where are you’ but “I’m right here”, not “how could you” but “I understand”, not “I wish you were”, but “I’m thankful you are.”

To My Friends Who Are…ENGAGED

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are…NOT SO SINGLE

Love isn’t about becoming somebody else’s “perfect person.” It’s about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are…HEARTBROKEN

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are…NAIVE

How to be in love: Fall but don’t stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are…SEARCHING

True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

To My Friends Who Are…PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE

Never say I love if you don’t care. Never talk about feelings if they aren’t there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when what you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn’t intend to catch her fall.

 To My Friends Who Are…POSSESSIVE

 It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it’s more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are…AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are…STILL HOLDING ON

A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go.

To My Friends Who Are…SINGLE

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often times it hurts, but love’s only special when you give it to someone who is worth it. So take your time and choose the best! 
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